Alec Vs Mr Fluffers
by SundaAoiSora
Summary: Magnus gets a new cat and Alec isn't happy.
1. Close encounters of the furry kind

Alec's eye twitched as he beheld the intruder laying so comfortably in his boyfriends lap " Magnus what is that?" he said pointing in the direction of said intruder.

The warlock in question gave the younger male a curious look " It's a cat Alec dear , you see they're mammals and.."

" I know what IT is what is IT doing here!" the young Shadowhunter demanded as the cat stretched and yawned .

" Aww are you jealous? that's so adorable!" Magnus laughed as Alec turned redder than a cherry

" Magnus answer the question! and no I'm not jealous!" Alec fumed.

" Well I WAS going for a nice stroll in the park when I came across this little fellow here, the poor thing was all alone and crying and looking at me with such sad eyes I just couldn't leave him like that alone and defenseless without so much as parent.."

" MAGNUS IT ISN'T A CHILD DAMMIT!!"

" My, my aren't we testy today, are you sure you're not jealous?" Magnus teased holding the smalll fluffy kitten out to the dark-haired teen " Say hello Mr. Fluffers" the warlock moved the kitten's tiny paw in a greeting.

Alec blinked " Mr. Fluffers? "

" Yes an adorable kitty needs an adorable name and I think it's suits him seeing how he's so fluffy and all"

" Magnus don't you already have a cat?"

" Yes and now Chairman Meow has a sibling!" Magnus chirped holding the kitten up to his cheek and nuzzling it.

Alec groaned he didn't know why he was so mad at the kitten _" Stupid cat it's not like it's a person or anything I mean I'm alot better than...than............ BY THE ANGEL I AM JEALOUS!!"_ Alec sceamed in his mind.

" Alec? dear are you alright? you're turning colors" Magnus concerned voice cut through his revelation he hadn't realized he had been holding his breath releasing the captive air he began to cough .

" Silly little Shadowhunter I'll go get you some water , try to pass out till I get back 'kay " Magnus chuckled going to the kitchen the ball of fluff over his shoulder , Alec could swear he saw the furry smirking smugly

" This means war Mr. Fluffers! "Alec declared mentally.


	2. It begins

" Come again?" Isabelle asked curiously as she watched from her bed at the Institute as her older brother fill a bag with several mysterious items. " I'm telling you Izzy that cat is evil! pure fluffy evil!!" Alec explained again picking up a particulary dangerous looking item.

" Uh-huh that's the first time I've ever heard the word evil and fluffy in the same sentence" the door then opened as Clary came in walking in raising an eyebrow at the commotion she turned to Isabelle " Should I ask?" .

Isabelle shrugged " Alec's gone off the deep end, what more can I say"

" It was bound to happen sooner or later" Clary agreed

" I'M NOT CRAZY!!!" Alec yelled hefting the bag over his shoulders

" Says the man with the backpack filled with weapons intended for a cat" Isabelle replied getting up from the bed " Alec you I know I love you but don't you think this is going too far? There's no shame in therapy"

" Oh no I'm not stopping until that stupid home-wrecking furball is meowing for mercy!" Alec looked a bit too pleased with the thought " And I'm not crazy!!"

" Right you're just jealous" Clary added rolling her eyes

" I'M NOT THAT EITHER!!"

Isabelle put her hand on her brother's shoulders " Alec there's nothing to be embarassed about I think it's sweet and cute " Alec groaned

" Lot of help you two are! and I'm not jealous!!" the dark-haired teen then exited the room in a dramatic huff that would've made Magnus proud.

" He's totally jealous" Isabelle whispered to Clary

Clary nodded " Yep totally"

" I CAN HEAR YOU!!" Alec called from down the hall as giggles erupted from the open room.

**_( Well there you have it! Will Mr. Fluffers meet his doom? Will Alec admit he's jealous? Why am I asking you people!? Find out on the next exciting installment of This!! )_**


	3. The plan

Alec glared at the kitten sleeping so comfortably in the corner clutching a pillow to his chest plotting the furry's demise.

He could spike the kitten's food with rat poison and the kitten was small so..

No.. Rat poison would be too obvious

He could kick it out when Magnus wasn't there and say it ran away..

Oh no..no that was just way to cliche and it could just find it's way back anyway

Wait till Magnus was gone and than unlease his backpack full of weapons on his furry foe

HELL YEAH!

" Love?"

Love..

Wait WHAT?

The questioning voice broke the young shadowhunter from his battle plans

looking up he saw Magnus standing in front of him a delicate eyebrow raised in confusion. Alec realized that the pillow he had been clutching was now laying on the floor torn right in half, white downy feathers littered all around, a blush covered Alec's face as he surveyed the damage.

" Honestly Alec if you didn't like the pillow you could have just told me, I have a JC Penny's catalog right here" Magnus laughed placing the semi-thick volume on the coffee table " Now you just look through that until you find one you like and ear mark it I have to go to a meeting in Tokyo are you going to be okay here by yourself for a few days? "

Alec's eyes sparkled he looked down so that he wouldn't give his intentions away but inside he was chuckling darkly he looked up once he regained control over his composure " Sure, Have a good time I'll miss you " he replied as the warlock kissed him on the forehead.

" I doubt that , I'll miss you too baby I'll bring back souvenirs" with that Magnus left the sound of a door closing could be heard.

Alec then turned his eyes towards the still sleeping kitten a creepy grin spread across his features " Your days here are numbered Mr. Fluffers" he thought manically.


	4. FurWars Episode I A Mew Hope

**( I am HORRIBLE with grammar , just a heads up ^u^ ) **

_" A long long time ago in a galaxy far away... Well actually it wasn't a long long time ago and it was in this galaxy and not that far away.. like in New York" *record scratches* _

_" Well that was weird, note to self don't drink 'kool-aid' from Magnus's fridge" _

Alec thought as he carefully unzipped his backpack remembering the enemy had keen hearing , taking out his weapons he snickered. Glancing over at the still sleeping kitten he cautiously sneaked over raising the wooden boa staff above his head he prepared to strike " Game over furball" he whispered victoriously when all of sudden the kitten's eyes flew open and launched itself at the young shadowhunter.

" AHHH GET OFF ME!!! GET OFF ME!! AHH" Alec screeched running around like a constipated hamster on steroids , he raised the staff again bringing it down with a force but ended up hitting his own face when Mr. Fluffers jumped off leaving Alec with tiny dots all over his face and a long red line going down from his forehead to chin. Alec shook his head to clear it then glared at the kitten who was now in a karate stance wriggling it's paw in a bring-it gesture. Raising an eyebrow Alec ran forward with a battle yell , jumping up in the air and landing a face kick right in Alec's mouth.

" Something tells me this is no ordinary cat" Alec said to himself as he spit out kitten foot fuzz

" You would be right oh In-Denial-One" the tiny kitten spoke in a deep voice

" Holy Sh*% ON A SANDWICH!! " Alec yelled pointing a finger at the kitten " YOU JUST TALKED!"

" Yes , Congratulations you win the No duh contest" the kitten stood up on it's hind legs and began walking towards Alec. While all Alec could think was _" Damn what was in that Kool-aid?" _


	5. The Dramewtic Conclusion

**( Oh how I love wordplay, it gives me happy! This it my pretties! the final chapter! will alec meet his fluffy doom, will suceed in his evil plan? Why am I still asking you people ! Continue reading below to find out!) **

Alec took a step back as the kitten walked towards him and evil glint in it's eyes, Alec turned to run but was stopped when Mr. Fluffers grabbed hold of the back of his shirt and flipped him over. He landed with an 'Oof' on his back as Fluffers climbed on top of him grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him up so that they were face to face " Give me the stash!" the kitten demanded. Alec blinked " What?" Mr. Fluffers slammed his head back into the floor before pulling it up again " Don't play dumb with me nya , I know you know where the Catnip stash is! Cough it up! that stuff is worth mewlions of cans of tuna! " the kitten slapped Alec across the face several times with his paws.

" What are you talking about you pychotic furry! I don't know about any stash !" Alec replied spitting out kitten fur

"Nya! don't play dumb with me human! nya I know you know where the stash is I know you've had contact with that back-stabber Deep Meow!"

Alec was no confused more than ever , first the accursed furry began talking and now he was some type of Catnip drug dealer with crappy wordplay?

" Silent eh? well I know ways to make you talk!" raised his paw claws out ready to strike when suddenly water came out of nowhere and drenched him. "NO! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!" he screamed as he started to disappear in a cloud of sparkly dust.

"Um you're not melting" Alec said matter of factly

"SHUT UP! WRETCHED FATE! DAMN MEW! DAMN MEW ALL TO HELL!" was the last words ever muttered by as he finally disappeared completely with a poof.

"Well that was F*d up" Alec muttered before passing out.

~TIME SKIP!~

"...lec... Alec come on now biscuit time to wake up now"

Alec moaned as he opened his eyes , Magnus hovered over him with a amused look on his face.

" Oh Alexander you drank the red liquid in the fridge didn't you?" the warlock asked.

" That wasn't Kool-aid?"

The question caused the warlock to burst out laughing stopping at the murderously red face of the blacknette, " Oh you silly little Shadowhunter! that was a hallucinative elixir I confiscated off some fairies looking to make a quick buck. I only had in the fridge because the little bugger explodes when left at room temperature for too long." Magnus patted Alex's hair chuckling at the teen's perplexed look.

" So there was no talking catnip dealing psyco kitten named ?" Alec asked very confused.

Magnus hand stopped petting looking at him with a mixed look of confusion and concern " Exactly how much of that did you drink Alexander?"

Alec shrugged " It was a hot day" he mumbled looking at the empty pitcher at the foot of the couch.

**Whoo! That's the end folks! Took long enough didn't it? Stupid writer's block ! T3T So anyhoozle Thanks for reading! and remember when a stranger offers you Kool-aid SAY NO AND WALK AWAY! **


End file.
